Janet (not real name) has an unforgivable hatred for her brother. In fact, she wishes not to see him again in her life. Why? Her brother has traumatised her. Now a grown up lady, Janet is haunted by past ugly experience when she was a child.
According to her, when she was seven years old, she was sleeping in the same room with her elder brother then 20. After each night prayer, her elder brother prodded her to watch pornographic videos together, caressing her breasts and other parts of the body during the show. Eventually, he started having sex with her.
Even as the incestuous relationship became a regular affair, he warned her not to tell their parents or any other person. Till their parents died, Janet said they had no idea what went on between her and the brother.
Now, a grown up, Janet can no longer control her libido, as she sleeps around with different men. She believes the elder brother is responsible for her predicament and vows never to set her eyes on him again.
Like Janet, another 10-year- old boy, in an orphanage said, “Whenever I see my brother, I feel like killing him. I hate him; I don’t care where he is.”
The boy, whose parents are now dead, reacted angrily when asked about his elder brother. Giving reason for his reaction, he said, “When I was younger, my brother would put his penis in my mouth and force me to suck it.”
Pedophiles are everywhere; fathers and sons now indulge in the bestial act of defiling their daughters and sisters.
In 2008, the world was shocked when news broke in Amstetten, Austria, a rural town about 150 km (93 miles) west of Vienna, that a 73-year-old man, Josef Fritzl, held his daughter, Elisabeth Fritzl, 42, hostage in an underground cellar for 24 years, during which time he raped his daughter and fathered seven children with her there.
Fritzl explained Elisabeth’s disappearance by saying she had run away from home, a story backed up by letters he forced Elisabeth to write, including one that begged her parents not to look for her.
Studies have shown a rising increase in incestuous relationships between fathers and their daughters, between mothers and their sons and even between other close relations.
Those involved are from different strata of the society, the wealthy, rich, middle class and even flotsam and jetsam.
Pedophiles and their ilk involved in incestuous affairs device different ways of making the victims to do their bidding. Sometimes, they threaten to kill them. Others pretend they really love and have the interest of their victims at heart, lavishing gifts, money and attention on them.
The Lagos State Police Command recently paraded a man, who defiled his two daughters and granddaughter, which shows the extent to which family values have degenerated in the country. The suspect, Sylvester Ehijere, 48, was said to have had carnal knowledge of his first daughter, Favour, when she was 17 years old.
A native of Ohuode, Edo State, Ehijere also molested his seven-year-old daughter, Chidinma, and his 15-month old granddaughter, Treaga.
The seven-year-old girl told the police that her father had sex with her on several occasions and had promised to buy her gifts but never did.
“Whenever my mum is not at home, he grabs me, forces his hand over my mouth and then inserts his penis into my private part. He promised to buy me a car, cake and biscuit, but he did not buy anything for me. He also threatens to use a knife to gouge out my eyes anytime I threaten to tell my mother,” she told the police.
The wife, Mrs. Margaret Ehijere, also made startling revelations, saying they have four children- two males and two females – and the husband has had carnal knowledge of her daughters including the infant grand-daughter.
She said, “I am a caterer. In 2006, I went to Abuja where I spent five days. But at about 1am, my first daughter, who was 17 years old at the time, called on the phone crying that she was raped by her father.
“Because my oldest daughter is working, we decided to put her baby at a daycare in Ejigbo. I have always been the one bringing her back every day. But on that particular day, my husband went to the daycare and after an altercation with the teacher, took the baby home.
“When I got home, the baby was crying uncontrallably and I wondered what was wrong. When I finally took off her diapers, I noticed she was bleeding in her private part. When I raised alarm, my husband was unnerved. That was when I suspected him. I rushed down to the Ejigbo Police Station and reported the matter.”
What is that status of the case while the bubble is yet to settle on Ehijere’s saga, another 58-year-old man from Agbura, Yenagoa Local Government in Bayelsa State was recently arrested by the police for allegedly impregnating his two daughters and attempting to rape the third. One of his daughters was said to have been pregnant for him twice but lost them during labour. The second daughter had to relocate from the community out of shame.
The 14-year-old daughter who is a student of the Community Secondary School, Agbura, was said to have revealed her father’s sexual escapades to the school counsellor.
The counsellor who is her class teacher, subsequently reported the matter to the Special Adviser to the Governor on Women Affairs, Mrs. Pulu Zifawei, who called in the police.
In March, a 10-year-old girl disclosed how her step-father, Alabi Ibrahim, 62, had been sleeping with her in their residence at Opara Estate, Aiyetoro Road, Abeokuta.
The man was said to have indulged in the act on countless occasions and threatened to kill her if she told anyone. But the girl told her siblings what had been going on between them. The latter told their mother, Mrs. Adiat Ibrahim, who then reported the matter to the police. The suspect fled when the police came after him.
Similarly, in 2010, Philip Ben, 40, from Akwa Ibom State impregnated his 12-yearold daughter, confessing that he was tempted by the ‘seductive’ dress she was putting on. But the daughter countered that her father drugged and molested her.
She told the police that her father had been having sex with her for two years at their Yaba, Lagos residence.
While making a confession at the Criminal Investigations Department CID, at Panti, Yaba, Lagos, Ben said: “One day, I came back from work and met my daughter naked. As I was admiring her, I could not control myself anymore. I started caressing her, and she did not resist, so we had sex.”
The girl also told the police that her father divorced her mother and married another woman who died later after giving birth to twins. “I was staying in the village before my father came and picked me at the age of seven to take care of the twins. It was when I came and started staying with him that he began being intimate with me,” she added.
Many people who spoke with National Mirror on the rising incident of incest in Nigeria were very forthright.
A bus driver, Mr. Francis Ojo, said: “Such incidents are as result of frustration. It is the reason why some men no longer sleep with their wives but with their daughters. Also, some daughters are not biological children of their supposed fathers. Some children are the products of adultery, and naturally, the affection from their fathers are lacking. People no longer respect the marriage institution any longer. For a father to sleep with his daughter is abominable. Such a man is cursed.”
A teacher at Ikorodu, Lagos, Mr. Vincent Egudah, said, “Do we have Child Rights in this country? Daily we are bombarded with rape cases and the government does nothing about them. Men rape their daughters and mothers are afraid to speak out because of cultural and religious inhibitions. Most of them say they want to protect their marriage. Which marriage do you protect, when your husband is sleeping with your daughter? The law is clear on such offence but we hardly hear of anyone being jailed for committing such heinous crime. Until our judges begin to jail offenders, the crime will not stop.”
For Mrs. Yemisi Balogun, a retailer at Ketu, Lagos, such abominable act has become a regular occurrence in the society.
“It is sad that we are now witnessing a similar thing that happened in Sodom and Gomorrah. Any man who sleeps with his daughters is an animal. In my community it is taboo, and anyone caught would be publicly disgraced by making him walk round the village naked. After, he will be required to appease the gods. If he resists, he will be excommunicated.
“However, I advise mothers to always monitor the activities of their daughters. Some mothers are so busy running after money that they don’t have time for their children. Some are either ashamed or afraid to report their husbands or sons. Until mothers begin to speak out, the evil will continue to live with us,” Balogun said.
On the legal implication of the abuse, Principal Partner, Abiye Tam-George & Co., and Child Protection/Parenting Skills expert, Mrs. Abiye Tam-George, explained that when a child is sexually abused, that child may likely suffer from emotional and physical trauma, thereby compounding the legal consequences of sexually abusing a child.
She said: “Cases of fathers abusing their children have become very worrisome, as more cases are reported every day. The reason is that fathers are hardly convicted of these abuses. The legal implications are very explicit as provided for in the Child Rights Act of 2003. Section 31 subsections (1) provides that ‘No person shall have intercourse with a child’ and section 31 subsection (2) declares that ‘A person who contravenes the provision of subsection (1) of this section commits an offence of rape and is liable on conviction to imprisonment for life.
“Fathers who are guilty of raping their children as clearly stated by the Child Rights Act of 2003 may be committed to life imprisonment.”
A counsellor on child sexual abuse and Founder/ Executive Director, Christianah Fate Foundation, Mrs. Christianah Akindolie, said during the group’s campaign in April at Eti- Osa Local Governement Area of Lagos State, a middle aged man asked why they were always campaigning against child sexual abuse.
“He actually said, he does not see anything wrong in sleeping with a child, after all, it is a ‘way of refreshing a man’s blood,” Akindolie said.
Advising against child sexual abuse, she said, “If a child is sexually abused, he or she should talk about it to a trusted adult who is ready to help. They should not keep quiet because the abuser must have threatened them. It is just a threat, they should not be afraid.
“Children should not allow anyone touch their private parts. They have a right to refuse, especially for the girls. They have a right to refuse a hug, even from an uncle. I tell children, ‘you have private part, you have public part. Private parts should not be touched.’ When we empower our children with those words, it is going to help them.
“In this society, people do not know child’s sexual abuse is everybody’s concern. As it affects a child, it is going to affect the next because children are influenced by their peers. Research has shown that a sexually abused child would abuse others. It is a chain reaction. A child who is sexually abused could abuse 10 others.”
A psychiatrist at the Federal Neuro-Psychiatric Hospital, Yaba, Lagos, Dr. Adebusola Adekoya, explained that people abusing children is one of several sides of disorders associated with sexual preferences.
“They are called pedophiles, that is, people with sexual preference for children not of legal age. They take undue advantage of them. Like any other illness, it is an abnormal sexual preference. You can’t say there is a particular cause. Pedophile is just one of several others. There are at least eight other abnormal sexual preferences.
“In psychiatry, we talk of multiple causes; that is multi-factorial. It could be a problem with the person’s system; the society or environment. Until we see the person and interview him, we cannot safely hazard the cause. The cause for one person could be different from another. So we can’t say there is a general cause for it. Some people could have been abused when they were young. When they grew up as adults they do similar things to other children,” he explained.
Adekoya stated that one of the consequences of child abuse is that the child could grow up to be a child abuser, even as she stressed that the child may also develop behavioural problems.
“The child could have a personality problem. A lot of things could happen to the child. The child might not be able to cope in school due to trauma. Some experience it and might not have anyone to confide in. They either manifest as a child or as adults. As a child, they are withdrawn, and won’t play like others. Some become over-exposed; that is when you see a fiveyear- old being over-friendly with people; people then will say she is too loose. When sexually abused children grow up, they develop personality disorder and finding it difficult to stay in a relationship. They have low self-esteem of themselves and could be tempted to commit suicide since they won’t see themselves as worthy of anything.”
She, however, disclosed that there is treatment for both the abused and abuser. “Ideally the treatment will involve the entire family because something could have happened between the husband and wife which caused the man to sleep with his daughter. Anything to do with children must involve the entire family. There are different psychological treatments. Unfortunately, most people do not recognise it as a problem that is treatable. In this environment, everything is termed an abomination,” she said.
Culled from National Mirror Newspaper- June 20th, 2013
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