How to Protect Your Children from Sexual Abuse during this Christmas Season

How to Protect Your Children from Sexual Abuse during this Christmas Season

‘Strangers are not the greatest danger to your children so parents protect your child from child sexual abuse’

As a parent, it's natural to worry about your kids. After all, you want to protect them from the evils of the world. Chief among those evils is sexual abuse. But, how can you talk to your kids about safety without scaring them to death? And what's the best way to protect them from sexual predators? 

We have  seen cases in which children have been sexually assaulted every day. From big, shocking, headline-making scandals like the one fueled by Cynthia Osukogu’s painful demise to the one-off incidents in which teachers, coaches, and other trusted adults take advantage of innocent children. We gasp and are outraged, but most of all we worry what if that was our child.

More importantly, however, we must ask what we can do to lessen the odds that our children will be victims. While there are no guarantees that we can we can keep them safe, there are some steps we can take to help do so

The festive season is a time of celebration and sharing of good times with family and friends. There might be more parties, more friends and more family in your home. You might be traveling and staying with people you do not see every day.

The down side of this wonderful time of year is that the risk for child sexual abuse increases. Children love the Christmas season. So do child predators. Many parents relax their vigilance during the festive season, routines change and children are allowed more freedom of movement. Add to this a greater exposure to (sometimes) little known family and friends and adults who tend to consume more alcohol and it makes for an ideal hunting ground for sexual predator looking for child victims.

Statistics say that up to 90 percent of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by family members or family friends. How do you protect your little ones during this time of greater risk, without spoiling anybody’s festive fun?

The first step is to be aware of the added danger. By being awake and watchful (you do not have to be paranoid) you can often prevent bad things from happening. Keep an eye on your kids during festivities. Know where they are and who they are with. Remember, just because somebody is dressed as Santa, doesn’t mean he/she is safe! Talk often with your child and set a tone of openness. Talking openly and directly will let your child know that it’s okay to talk to you when they have questions. If your child comes to you with concerns or questions, make time to listen and talk to them.

Trust your instincts when it comes to friends and family. If somebody makes you feel uncomfortable in his/her actions or words towards children, do not let him/her spend any time alone with the kids. The same goes for anybody with a reputation for inappropriate behavior towards kids. Abusers almost never stop abusing kids without help.

Remember older children can also sexually abuse little ones. Keep an eye on teenagers who want to spend all of their time with little kids. Most sexual abuse happens when there is one on one contact between the abuser and the child. By limiting the time your child spends with adults and older children to people you really trust, you can decrease the risk of abuse.

Teach your child key safety principles. For instance:

• Teach children the names of their body parts so that they have the language to ask questions and express concerns about those body parts.
• If your child is uncomfortable or if someone is touching them, s/he should tell a trusted adult immediately.
• Let your children know that if someone is touching them or talking to them in ways that make them uncomfortable that it shouldn’t stay a secret.

Limit the amount of alcohol that is consumed when there are children around. Many cases of child sexual abuse happen when the adults responsible for looking after the children are drunk. Parties like that are not appropriate for children.

Speak to your kids about personal safety. This can be done in a way that is not frightening to kids at all. Teach them to trust and develop their instincts by not insisting that they kiss and hug adults that make them feel uncomfortable. Speak up for them if you see somebody acting inappropriate. I know this can sometimes cause offence, but people who value your child’s safety will understand. Enjoy the festive season, but remember that kids cannot keep themselves safe. That’s your job.

Empower-Your child should know that s/he has the right to speak up if they are uncomfortable, or if someone is touching them. It’s okay to say “no” even to adults they know and family members. Monitor their social media friends but do it with respect.
Educate-Educate yourself about the warning signs of childhood sexual abuse.  Know what to look for, and the best way to respond. Visit www.cornucopiaebooks.blogspot.com for more details or www.cornucopiaebooks.com/images/CSA.pdf
Facebook name - cornucopia ebooks

Have a Safe Christmas Celebration

Chidinma Stella Onuoha (Mrs.)

08066656255,   Case1609@yahoo.co.uk , cornucopiaebooks@gmail.com

Some other helpful online literature:

http://www.childsafety.org.au/documents/Protectingyourchildagainstsexualabusepmckay.pdf

http://www.coe.int/t/dg3/children/1in5/Source/PublicationSexualViolence/Hitrec.pdf

http://www.kidscape.org.uk/assets/downloads/kskeepthemsafe.pdf

Powerful Points from FIDA Nigeria Law Week 2012

International Federation of Women Lawyers, Nigeria has condemned the provisions of the Federal Character Commission Establishment Act stipulating that married women should continue to lay claim to their state of origin.

FIDA Country Vice- President/President Nigeria, Hauwa Shekarau, on Thursday said at an event to mark the 2012 FIDA Week in Abuja that the Federal Character Commission (Establishment Act) CAP F7 Laws of the Federation of Nigeria 2004, Part 11, Section 2 (Position on Married Women) was discriminatory and contrary to the 1999 Constitution.

Part 11, Section 2 of the FCC Establishment Act provides that “A married woman shall continue to lay claim to her state of origin for the purpose of implementation of the Federal Character Formulae at the national level”.

Shekarau spoke against the backdrop of the last minute dropping of Justice Ifeoma Jombo-Ofo from being sworn in as an Appeal Court justice.

Jombo-Ofo comes from Anambra State but married a man from Abia State. But petitions over her state of origin led to the decision of Chief Justice of Nigeria, Aloma Mukhtar, not to swear her in.

Shekarau said, “FIDA Nigeria is concerned about the discrimination generally suffered by women in Nigeria, both married and unmarried.

“This is quite contrary to Section 42 of the 1999 Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. It is sad that within the same constitution there are some discriminatory provisions that go contrary to the spirit and letter of Section 42 of the same Constitution.

“For instance, the constitution affords a Nigerian man the right to confer Nigerian citizenship on his foreign wife. On the contrary, a Nigerian woman cannot in the same vein confer Nigerian citizenship on her foreign husband. This is purely discriminatory to say the least.”

She described Part 11, Section 2 of the FCC Establishment Act as “a double-edged sword that works against women who are married to spouses from different states of origin as theirs”.

She added, “It is clearly discriminatory and goes contrary to Section 42 of the constitution.

“Section 42 of the 1999 Constitution provides that a citizen of Nigeria of a particular community, ethnic group, place of origin, sex, religion or political opinion shall not by reason only that he is such a person.”

Frightening Incidence of Rape of Children and Toddlers in Nigeria

 This article was culled from the Punch Newspaper

The incidence of rape has assumed a frightening proportion in recent times. TUNDE ODESOLA  X-rays this sad development in Osun and Oyo states

 Rape has assumed a frightening dimension across the country in recent times, questioning the soundness of the human mind and its ability to cope with emerging challenges.

A study conducted by a group of lecturers from Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, under the aegis of Women on rape, sexual harassment and sexual exploitation, came up with alarming results.

The study conducted in Oyo and Osun states in liasion with a non-governmental organisation showed that 80 per cent of girls, before attaining age 18, experience sexual violence and abuse while 31 per cent of girls experience sexual violence and abuse before age 13.

There are two major types of rape, date rape and gang rape. Date rape is when a man rapes a woman after having spent the evening socially with her, while gang rape is when several men force a woman to have sex with them.

Addressing a news conference at OAU, Ile-Ife, a few days ago, WARSHE said 80 per cent of 3, 118 students interviewed in a study it conducted had experienced sexual violence and abuse.

The group revealed that it was alarming that rape and other forms of sexual violence against the girls in the study were perpetrated in the homes of the victims.

WARSHE’s principal researchers, Dr. Olutoyin Mejiuni, and Prof. Oluyemisi Obilade, said some men capitalised on the trust reposed in them to rape their victims. Mejiuni said, “About 31 per cent of respondents who had experienced sexual violence and abuse had the experience before age 13, and 80 per cent before age 18.

“The assailants who attacked the respondents were their relatives, a few; teachers and religious leaders; family friends, neighbours and male friends. Respondents suffered shame, fear, aches and pains, cuts and injuries especially to their vaginas, bleeding, loss of virginity, pregnancy and ostracism as a result of sexual violence and abuse.”

She explained that girls from high school and tertiary institutions in Oyo and Osun states were interviewed through questionnaires distributed between January and May, 2012. Mejiuni said that the incidence of sexual abuse was more prevalent in urban areas than rural areas, adding that females’ mode of dressing was not an excuse for rape or sexual violence.

She added that laws against rape and sexual abuse were not deterrent enough.

“The worry that we have is if rape and other forms of sexual abuse have become rampant, and children are being raped, how many virgins will be left to bring pride to their husbands and rejoicing to their parents?” Mejiuni asked.

The lecturer observed that licentiousness was abhorrent among the Yoruba several years ago, stressing that it was wrong of religious adherents to blame rape and sexual abuse on dressing by female victims.

Hearing a 15-year-old girl narrate how she was raped by two riot policemen in Ilesa, last week, Osun State Commissioner for Women Affairs and Social Welfare, Mrs. Adetoun Adegboyega, could not hold back tears. When she opened her mouth to speak, words failed her.

She eventually pulled herself together ans said, “This is terrible and despicable. We must collectively fight this rape monster in our society. This cannot continue in Osun, the state of the virtuous.”

Adegboyega added, “What is even more shocking is that the cases involved minors who are sexually assaulted by men old enough to be their grandfathers. Or what would you say of 56-year-old raping a 14-year-old?”

One of the various cases of rape being investigated by the Osun State Ministry of Women Affairs and Social Welfare is that of a 16-year-old girl, who was raped by five adults in Gbongan community around 8:15pm, on May 20, 2012. Another is the case of a 29-year-old mathematics and social studies teacher, Seun Oyeleke, who was caught pants down with a seven-year-old female pupil in a school toilet.

A Consultant Psychiatrist, Ladoke Akintola University Teaching Hospital, Ogbomoso, Dr. Adeoye Oyewole, gave an insight into why there is an increase in the incidence of rape across the country. He said, “The high incidence of rape is a general phenomenon in the country.  It is not synonymous with a particular state or a people. This is because all states of the federation operate within the same socio-economic milieu.” According to him, rape cases appear to be on the increase because there has been an increase in its reportage in recent times. He added, “Rape, you will admit, has been with humanity since time immemorial.

“On the other hand, rape could be said to be on the increase because of the debilitating socio-economic factors militating against Nigerians. This is because many people would engage in drug abuse and alcoholism having been thrown out of jobs. Some people would exhibit anti -social behaviour because of failed marriages, loss of self esteem and loss of self confidence.”

On Tuesday, Bauchi State Commissioner of Police, Mr. Mohammed Ladan, confirmed the arrest of a policeman who sodomised 10 children, whose ages were between nine and 12 years. Ladan said the suspect was caught in the act and arrested in Kandahar area of the state, adding that the children complained of severe pain in their anuses.

Sometime last month, two armed riot policemen forced a 15-year-old girl in Ayeso Police Barracks, Ilesa, to their room and raped her.

As soon as the foster father of the girl contacted the state command on the matter, the state Commissioner of Police, Mrs. Kalafite Adeyemi, ordered the arrest and detention of the suspects.

It was gathered that the girl was passing by Ayeso Police Station, Ilesa, on a Tuesday afternoon, when she was forced by the armed policemen into their apartment beside the police station.

Police Public Relations Officer, Osun State Command, Mrs. Sade Odoro, said, “They (the policemen) cannot escape because this is a disciplined command. They were arrested immediately and they have been transferred to Osogbo. They will be diligently prosecuted.”

Speaking on condition of anonymity, the victim’s foster father said, “She couldn’t disclose her ordeal to her elder sister, who is my wife; she rushed to her biological parents’ apartment in Isale General Area of Ilesa, kept to herself and was weeping uncontrollably. It was after my wife cajoled her that she opened up.”

An observant mother, Mrs. A. Ajiboye, smelt a rat when she heard of the closeness between her five-year-old daughter and her lesson teacher, Seun Oyeleke.

“My son had told me that the teacher was fond of taking his sister to the toilet. I revealed my suspicion to my brother, who is a policeman and we devised a plan,” she said.

She secretly told her seven-year-old son to rush home and notify her whenever the teacher takes his younger sister to the toilet. Expatiating, the shocked mother said, “At about 11:30am on Saturday, my son rushed in to inform me that the teacher had taken another girl to the toilet. I quickly rushed to the school, went to the toilet and forced the door open. I met him on top of the little child. I was very furious and I began to shout and wail. I called on neighbours to come and see what was happening. He was subsequently taken to Dugbe Police Station in Osogbo.”

The hapless little girl said, “He took me to the bathroom in the building and removed my pant and lay on me.”

Pleading for mercy at the police station, Oyeleke said, “Please, spare me; I didn’t know what came over me. The effect of what I did just dawned on me. I did not rape them. I only had sex with them. It’s the devil’s work.”

The girl was taken to police clinic at Oke-Fia, Osogbo, where a medical officer attended to her. The medical officer, who chose to be anonymous, said the teacher did not penetrate the vagina of the girl, adding that his organ, however, had an impact on her pubic area.

A few weeks ago, an Osogbo magistrate’s court remanded five persons, Nurudeen Jimoh (20), Tunde Akorede (19), Mutiu Yusuf (19), Sikiru Amusan (21), and Wasiu Ayoola (19), in prison custody for allegedly raping a 16-year-old girl in Gbongan community. According to the charge sheet, the accused allegedly conspired, assaulted and raped the teenager on May 20, 2012, around 8:15pm in Gbongan, Osun State. Magistrate Adewunmi Makanjuola ordered the accused to be remanded in Ilesa prisons.

Last week, the same Magistrate sentenced a 56-year-old man, Samuel Olatoke, to 14 years imprisonment for raping a 14-year-old girl in Abodua Compound, Osogbo, on June 11, 2012. 

In his ruling, Makanjuola said it was evident before the court that the accused committed the offence without the consent of the girl. A female member, National Youth Service Corps, had accused a monarch of raping her in Osogbo, last year. The case, at an Osogbo High Court, has generated reactions. The traditional ruler had persistently maintained that he got the consent of the lady before having sex with her but the lady had insisted that she was raped by the monarch.

On curtailing the incidence of rape, Oyewole said both the family and government have roles to play in the fight against rape.

He said, “The family has a big role to play in stemming the tide of rape. Male family members, even fathers, should show decorum when entering the rooms of their daughters, who have reached purberty stage. The extended family setting could be negatively exploited by distant relatives. So, parents should guard against this by ensuring that their daughters are safe from sexual abuse.”

He also advised females to be careful about their acquaintances and urge family units to do a lot more about children’s dress sense. At the government level, he advocated for more stringent sanctions for culprits.

'Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse in Nigeria' e-book now available at www.cornucopiaebooks.com

Passport of pastor accused of sexual abuse seized

The Federal Capital Territory Police Command has seized the passport of a pastor accused of sexually molesting young female members of his church.

The suspect, Pastor Basil Princewill, is the General Overseer of the Mountain Movers Fire Ministries International, Nyanya, a satellite town located between Abuja and Nasarawa State.

The pastor is facing trial for the alleged offence before Shuaibu Usman of the Abuja Chief Magistrates’ Court in Karu.

Hearing in the trial was scheduled to commence on Wednesday, but the prosecution counsel, Sgt. Bulus Samuel, applied for a short adjournment to enable the police amend the charges brought against the pastor.

Samuel informed the court that he was unable to proceed as scheduled because he lost his father shortly after the matter was brought to court.

The defence counsel, Mr. Uchenna Anayo, did not oppose the prosecution’s request for a short adjournment, but moved an oral application for the release of the Pastor’s passport.

He told the court that the police had continued to withhold, despite the fact that it should be released according to the terms of the bail granted the accused person.

“It has come to our attention that the police are still in possession of the first accused person’s passport. We are applying to the court so they can release it,” Anayo said.

The prosecution opposed the application, arguing that the cleric’s passport was seized in line with investigations into the charges against him.

Samuel noted that the said passport would affect the case.

He said, “Section 344 of the constitution gives us the power to seize anything when investigation is going on, if such will affect the case.”

But the court on Wednesday, noted that the prosecution might need the said passport to prove its case. It, therefore, advised the defence counsel to file a written application for the release of the document.

He thereafter adjourned the matter to August 20, 2012, for hearing.

The pastor and his co-accused, Ms Paulyn Ode, were arraigned by the Commissioner of Police, FCT Command on charges of conspiracy, criminal impersonation, criminal intimidation, and criminal force and assault.

Princewill was accused of having carnal knowledge of two 14-year-old female members of the church.

He was also said to have aborted the pregnancy of one the girls, after telling doctors he was her father.

 Protect your Child from Sexual Abuse in Nigeria' available now at

 www.cornucopiaebooks.com/images/CSA.pdf  

How to Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse in Nigeria

How to Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse in Nigeria

As many as one in three girls and one in seven boys will be sexually abused at some point in their childhood, according to "Stop It Now!"

Case1609@yahoo.co.uk

cornucopiaebooks@gmail.com 

www.cornucopiaebooks.com/images/CSA.pdf

With growing public awareness in Nigeria that child sexual abuse is far more prevalent than previously believed, many parents are wondering how to protect their kids from sexual predators. As many as one in three girls and one in seven boys will be sexually abused at some point in their childhood, according to "Stop It Now!," an international organization that aims to prevent sexual abuse of children by "mobilizing adults, families and communities to take actions that protect children before they are harmed."

 "Parents must be aware of the fact that most sexual abuse cases involve a person the child knows, strangers are not the greatest danger to your children,” says, Chidinma Stella Onuoha, a lawyer and author of the recently released e-book, ‘Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse in Nigeria’.  In this book, the author focuses on both preventive and corrective steps toward fighting the child sexual abuse scourge in Nigeria. The effects of childhood sexual abuse can be debilitating and long-lasting," says Chidinma. "It can result in major psychological, emotional, and physical disorders including substance abuse, depression, sexual dysfunction, eating disorders, and an inability to have healthy, happy relationships."

The reality of Child Sexual Abuse is a terrifying concept - but it is something that every parent needs to face because knowledge is power! The fact is that nearly every incident of sexual abuse is preventable, with simple steps that parents can take. Though parenting is the toughest job out there, it is also the area where one gets the least expertise. What makes it particularly challenging is the fact that society looks forward to entrusting every child's safety and protection to the parents. Thus, parents should know first-hand how to deal with any kind of child problems and issues, including sexual abuse. Parents should have a plan for protecting their children!

There is a plan of protecting your loved ones which is embodied in an e-book, ‘Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse in Nigeria’. This e-book will show:

•The harsh realities of child sexual abuse in Nigeria, •the pain that child sexual abuse causes and the false beliefs that child sexual abuse create, •how to recognize the warning signs •How to keep a child safe from sexual abuse •who sexually abuses children? •How and where abusers gain access to children •Steps to healing where sexual abuse has already happened •Celebrities that have survived child sexual abuse • the nongovernmental organizations in Nigeria (and their addresses) that can help you deal with child sexual abuse when it has happened

Parents Are Funny and they're so funny about believing that child sexual abuse can only happen to the "other person’s child". It doesn't! Do not take things for granted; it is better to be safe than sorry. Child sexual abuse has many harmful and devastating effects on its young victims - physically, mentally and spiritually -- leaving scars that can last a lifetime. Please think about it.

For more information visit; http://www.cornucopiaebooks.com/images/CSA.pdf

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Paedophiles: Who should teach children sexuality education?

   
The Report below appeared in the Tribune of today, 11th October, 2012
Every Nigerian Parent should be on the alert!!!


Paedophiles: Who should teach children sexuality education?

 

Written by Ruth Olurounbi Thursday, 11 October 2012 Tribune Newspapers   

With the increasing number of child-pregnancy issues, rapes and abortions in children and adolescents, the question of sexuality education has also come up. Sadly, parents (most especially Africans) often shy away from this truth.
Ruth Olurounbi asks whose blame it is when a child engages in sexual activities without having the right knowledge about harms he/she is getting into, and whose job is it really to provide such information, among other issues.
IN Nigeria, cases of child abuse, with emphasis on defilement (adult having sexual relations with a child below the age of 12) and rape (an adult having sexual relations with a child between the ages of 13 and 17) have been on the increase and becoming worrisome so much so, that the Office of the Public Defender (OPD), a department under the Lagos State Ministry of Justice, raised the alarm over the increase in cases of child abuse and rape in the state. The Director of OPD, Mrs Omotola Rotimi, said at a press conference held in Lagos recently, that between January and March this year, 39 cases of child abuse had been handled by the office while 15 cases of rape and 17 cases of defilement had also been treated.
“Since inception of the OPD in July, 2000; the office has been able to resolve over 34,000 matters covering both civil and criminal cases. Almost on a daily basis, we receive cases of defilement of children by people who sometimes are very close to their families,” she said.
Earlier this year, a nine-year-old girl was raped by a 25-year-old man in Lagos State. The culprit, one Adeniyi, who worked within the area where the girl’s school was situated, allegedly took her to his home after school hours and forcibly had carnal knowledge of her. A few weeks ago, another nine-year-old girl was allegedly raped by her class teacher – these cases being few of many reported and unreported incidences in the country.
In Calista Ezeaku’s Curbing Rape Incidences In Nigeria, he wrote: “Of all rape cases, the most worrisome is the raping of innocent child by adults. Research showed that between 2008 and now, the Police in Kano State have dealt with over 60 cases of child rape and made over 60 related arrests.”
In a bid to curb the menace, Rotimi urged parents to be more vigilant about their children. But a social worker in the country said parents’ vigilance may not be the only tool required in curbing the increasing child defilement in the society. Echoing what Patricia C. Wass, the Coordinator of Sexual Assault Crisis Services in Connecticut once said, it is “only by opening up the discussion about sex, and by beginning to talk to children at a young age, will we ever be able to protect them from abuse.”
A social worker in Ibadan, Dr Olayinka Oladipo said child sex education would go a long way in protecting children from sexual abuse.
While the government has instituted the Child Rights Act to protect children from all forms of abuse, Dr Oladipo said it was imperative that children were protected from the abuse in the first place. Wass, who gave various types of child sexual abuse, from “inappropriate touching, fondling, voyeurism, exposure to pornography, to full forced intercourse and sadistic acts,” said “abuse may consist of a one-time incident or be ongoing perpetration which continues throughout childhood into teen years. Victims may be infants as young as two months, although the average age of child sexual abuse victims is nine.”
She added that although most of the high profile cases of child sexual abuse that make the news were stories about weird, creepy strangers who prey on children and often murdered them. “Most child sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows: a parent, a sibling, another relative, a family friend, a neighbour, teacher, a member of the clergy. It happens in every socio-economic class, every ethnic community, and among all races.”
And like Dr Oladipo, Wass’ contention was that children and teens need good information about sex, sexual relationships, reproduction and birth control, sexually-transmitted diseases, and sexual abuse. “Information is power, and in this high-risk day and age, children and teens need all the information they can get. To withhold information about sex and the possibility of sexual abuse, as well as information about reproduction and disease, puts all children at risk.”
Refusing to talk about sex, Wass said, did not mean that" children are safe, that nothing bad will happen to them. Only by opening up the discussion about sex, and beginning to talk to children at young age, will we ever be able to protect them from abuse. Ultimately it will only be when sex and sexual abuse are commonplace topics of conversation will perpetrators be held accountable. Only then would our society ever truly be able to prevent one of the most tragic things that can happen to a child.”
However, there are a number of reasons parents are reluctant to teach their children about sex. Prominent being, according to Chidi Ebere, the co-founder of Child Aid Survival and Development International (CASDI), the preservation of virginity, prevention of premarital sex, illegitimate pregnancy and abortion, religion and culture, as well as maintenance of family honour and dignity, among others. Contrary to this assumption, he said “a number of surveys have shown that girls who were not educated about sexuality, including changes during puberty are more likely to embark on sexual indiscretion and become pregnant during their teen years than those who were educated about sex."
While there is a great debate as to where sex education should take place and who should be saddled with the responsibility, experts are saying it should “ideally start in the home where parents should engage their children as active participants in their development process. This education continues at school in a way that preserves the family values while embracing societal realities.” Ebere, in Breaking the Barrier: The importance of sex education for adolescents, said “sex education that begins at school could have an untoward effect of these young children not understanding the position of their parents, leading to sexual licentiousness and catastrophic experimentation. The social development of young people is a product of family and society partnership, where these children are active participants in their own lives. He added that, "education is by no means an enemy of humanity but ignorance is."
Question is: at what age should children be exposed to sexuality education? Dr Oladipo suggested that parents should start early, but should not force the conversation. "Teaching a child about sex requires gentle and continuous flow of information," she said, while urging the parents to make sure that they start earlier before the children start to grasp wrong information from the available sources. “When you teach your toddler about body parts such as whereabouts of his/her nose and teeth also tell your child that this is your penis or vagina. Later, you can gradually keep on adding on the subject,” Bushra Kafeel, a sex educationist advised.
Kafeel also suggested that parents inform their children about basic rules such as passing the basic ground rule of sexuality education for children not to touch each other below the waist. “Certain rules for children of a small age group often help them to understand the basic dos and don’ts,” Kafeel added.
In answering the question on who should give sexuality education and where it should be given, therein lays another question: why is it important? The Department of Health in the United States of America said, the objectives of sexuality education are to help children understand the body structures of men and women and acquire the knowledge about birth and to teach them to establish and accept the role and responsibility of their own gender by acquiring the knowledge of sex. “Understanding the differences and similarities between two genders in terms of body and mind will set up a foundation for the future development in their acquaintance with friends and lovers and their interpersonal relationship,” it added, saying that sex education teaches an individual about self-acceptance and the attitude and skills of interpersonal relationship. It also helps an individual to cultivate a sense of responsibility towards others as well as oneself.
To protect children from paedophiles, the society needs to educate children of the 21st century more on their bodies and body imagery, sexual abuse and high-risk sexual behaviours and other exploitative behaviours, experts have said. “Until the society, both in advanced and developing nations make sex education a common public discourse and encourage families to embrace the idea, sexual abuse and exploitation will remain a common threat to our children,” Ebere, the co-founder of Child Aid Survival and Development Interna-tional, said

Why Nigerian Parents Should Be Worried! Tackling rape and sexual abuse in Osun

 

This was culled from Punch Newspaper!

 

The incidence of rape has assumed a frightening proportion in recent times. TUNDE ODESOLA X-rays this sad development in Osun and Oyo states

Rape has assumed a frightening dimension across the country in recent times, questioning the soundness of the human mind and its ability to cope with emerging challenges.

A study conducted by a group of lecturers from Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, under the aegis of Women on rape, sexual harassment and sexual exploitation, came up with alarming results.

The study conducted in Oyo and Osun states in liasion with a non-governmental organisation showed that 80 per cent of girls, before attaining age 18, experience sexual violence and abuse while 31 per cent of girls experience sexual violence and abuse before age 13.

There are two major types of rape, date rape and gang rape. Date rape is when a man rapes a woman after having spent the evening socially with her, while gang rape is when several men force a woman to have sex with them.

Addressing a news conference at OAU, Ile-Ife, a few days ago, WARSHE said 80 per cent of 3, 118 students interviewed in a study it conducted had experienced sexual violence and abuse.

The group revealed that it was alarming that rape and other forms of sexual violence against the girls in the study were perpetrated in the homes of the victims.

WARSHE’s principal researchers, Dr. Olutoyin Mejiuni, and Prof. Oluyemisi Obilade, said some men capitalised on the trust reposed in them to rape their victims. Mejiuni said, “About 31 per cent of respondents who had experienced sexual violence and abuse had the experience before age 13, and 80 per cent before age 18.

“The assailants who attacked the respondents were their relatives, a few; teachers and religious leaders; family friends, neighbours and male friends. Respondents suffered shame, fear, aches and pains, cuts and injuries especially to their vaginas, bleeding, loss of virginity, pregnancy and ostracism as a result of sexual violence and abuse.”

She explained that girls from high school and tertiary institutions in Oyo and Osun states were interviewed through questionnaires distributed between January and May, 2012. Mejiuni said that the incidence of sexual abuse was more prevalent in urban areas than rural areas, adding that females’ mode of dressing was not an excuse for rape or sexual violence.

She added that laws against rape and sexual abuse were not deterrent enough.

“The worry that we have is if rape and other forms of sexual abuse have become rampant, and children are being raped, how many virgins will be left to bring pride to their husbands and rejoicing to their parents?” Mejiuni asked.

The lecturer observed that licentiousness was abhorrent among the Yoruba several years ago, stressing that it was wrong of religious adherents to blame rape and sexual abuse on dressing by female victims.

Hearing a 15-year-old girl narrate how she was raped by two riot policemen in Ilesa, last week, Osun State Commissioner for Women Affairs and Social Welfare, Mrs. Adetoun Adegboyega, could not hold back tears. When she opened her mouth to speak, words failed her.

She eventually pulled herself together ans said, “This is terrible and despicable. We must collectively fight this rape monster in our society. This cannot continue in Osun, the state of the virtuous.”

Adegboyega added, “What is even more shocking is that the cases involved minors who are sexually assaulted by men old enough to be their grandfathers. Or what would you say of 56-year-old raping a 14-year-old?”

One of the various cases of rape being investigated by the Osun State Ministry of Women Affairs and Social Welfare is that of a 16-year-old girl, who was raped by five adults in Gbongan community around 8:15pm, on May 20, 2012. Another is the case of a 29-year-old mathematics and social studies teacher, Seun Oyeleke, who was caught pants down with a seven-year-old female pupil in a school toilet.

A Consultant Psychiatrist, Ladoke Akintola University Teaching Hospital, Ogbomoso, Dr. Adeoye Oyewole, gave an insight into why there is an increase in the incidence of rape across the country. He said, “The high incidence of rape is a general phenomenon in the country. It is not synonymous with a particular state or a people. This is because all states of the federation operate within the same socio-economic milieu.” According to him, rape cases appear to be on the increase because there has been an increase in its reportage in recent times. He added, “Rape, you will admit, has been with humanity since time immemorial.

“On the other hand, rape could be said to be on the increase because of the debilitating socio-economic factors militating against Nigerians. This is because many people would engage in drug abuse and alcoholism having been thrown out of jobs. Some people would exhibit anti -social behaviour because of failed marriages, loss of self esteem and loss of self confidence.”

On Tuesday, Bauchi State Commissioner of Police, Mr. Mohammed Ladan, confirmed the arrest of a policeman who sodomised 10 children, whose ages were between nine and 12 years. Ladan said the suspect was caught in the act and arrested in Kandahar area of the state, adding that the children complained of severe pain in their anuses.

Sometime last month, two armed riot policemen forced a 15-year-old girl in Ayeso Police Barracks, Ilesa, to their room and raped her.

As soon as the foster father of the girl contacted the state command on the matter, the state Commissioner of Police, Mrs. Kalafite Adeyemi, ordered the arrest and detention of the suspects.

It was gathered that the girl was passing by Ayeso Police Station, Ilesa, on a Tuesday afternoon, when she was forced by the armed policemen into their apartment beside the police station.

Police Public Relations Officer, Osun State Command, Mrs. Sade Odoro, said, “They (the policemen) cannot escape because this is a disciplined command. They were arrested immediately and they have been transferred to Osogbo. They will be diligently prosecuted.”

Speaking on condition of anonymity, the victim’s foster father said, “She couldn’t disclose her ordeal to her elder sister, who is my wife; she rushed to her biological parents’ apartment in Isale General Area of Ilesa, kept to herself and was weeping uncontrollably. It was after my wife cajoled her that she opened up.”

An observant mother, Mrs. A. Ajiboye, smelt a rat when she heard of the closeness between her five-year-old daughter and her lesson teacher, Seun Oyeleke.

“My son had told me that the teacher was fond of taking his sister to the toilet. I revealed my suspicion to my brother, who is a policeman and we devised a plan,” she said.

She secretly told her seven-year-old son to rush home and notify her whenever the teacher takes his younger sister to the toilet. Expatiating, the shocked mother said, “At about 11:30am on Saturday, my son rushed in to inform me that the teacher had taken another girl to the toilet. I quickly rushed to the school, went to the toilet and forced the door open. I met him on top of the little child. I was very furious and I began to shout and wail. I called on neighbours to come and see what was happening. He was subsequently taken to Dugbe Police Station in Osogbo.”

The hapless little girl said, “He took me to the bathroom in the building and removed my pant and lay on me.”

Pleading for mercy at the police station, Oyeleke said, “Please, spare me; I didn’t know what came over me. The effect of what I did just dawned on me. I did not rape them. I only had sex with them. It’s the devil’s work.”

The girl was taken to police clinic at Oke-Fia, Osogbo, where a medical officer attended to her. The medical officer, who chose to be anonymous, said the teacher did not penetrate the vagina of the girl, adding that his organ, however, had an impact on her pubic area.

A few weeks ago, an Osogbo magistrate’s court remanded five persons, Nurudeen Jimoh (20), Tunde Akorede (19), Mutiu Yusuf (19), Sikiru Amusan (21), and Wasiu Ayoola (19), in prison custody for allegedly raping a 16-year-old girl in Gbongan community. According to the charge sheet, the accused allegedly conspired, assaulted and raped the teenager on May 20, 2012, around 8:15pm in Gbongan, Osun State. Magistrate Adewunmi Makanjuola ordered the accused to be remanded in Ilesa prisons.

Last week, the same Magistrate sentenced a 56-year-old man, Samuel Olatoke, to 14 years imprisonment for raping a 14-year-old girl in Abodua Compound, Osogbo, on June 11, 2012.

In his ruling, Makanjuola said it was evident before the court that the accused committed the offence without the consent of the girl. A female member, National Youth Service Corps, had accused a monarch of raping her in Osogbo, last year. The case, at an Osogbo High Court, has generated reactions. The traditional ruler had persistently maintained that he got the consent of the lady before having sex with her but the lady had insisted that she was raped by the monarch.

On curtailing the incidence of rape, Oyewole said both the family and government have roles to play in the fight against rape.

He said, “The family has a big role to play in stemming the tide of rape. Male family members, even fathers, should show decorum when entering the rooms of their daughters, who have reached purberty stage. The extended family setting could be negatively exploited by distant relatives. So, parents should guard against this by ensuring that their daughters are safe from sexual abuse.”

He also advised females to be careful about their acquaintances and urge family units to do a lot more about children’s dress sense. At the government level, he advocated for more stringent sanctions for culprits.

 

Punch Newspaper September 2, 2012 by TUNDE ODESOLA